Triplets
from the Guinalean epic poem “Is That the Salmon of Wisdom or Are You Just
Happy to See Me?”
“98 were the
tears that were shed,
98 were the
mouths with no bread,
’98!’ was
the cry that was said.”
“98 was the
year we got bored,
98 was the
year of the sword,
98! Crushing
heads like a gourd!”
It is well known that the Bog Orcs
and Wee Folk of Guinalea are not always willing members of the United Kingdom
of Great Britorcn. This was never more so the case than in the years following
the Ferach Elf Emperor Mordred’s Annulment of the Law of Wylde Magicke, for
Guinelalea was more steeped in and dependent upon Wylde Magicke than many
another land.
It was Wylde Magicke that made the
Land so green that even the Bog Orcs dwelling there were imbued with that
colour. It was Wylde Magicke that allowed the Wee Folk to flourish there. Most
important of all it was Wylde Magicke that allowed the Land the bounty that
sustained the population.
With Wylde Magicke gone, the Bog
Orcs faced starvation.
Never one to let an opportunity for
mischief at the expense of others to pass, the tyrant, Emperor Mordred sent
emissaries to Guinalea, to spread rumor and foment revolt. The rumor was that
it was Goode Kyng Gorge who annulled Wylde Magicke in Guinalea and caused the
land to whither. In truth it did not take much convincing for this rumor to
take root, and unlike the spuds of Guinalea, prosper. The Bog Orcs were a
warlike bunch and for many, rebellion was sport.
Ferach agents provocateur made it
clear that the Wee Folk and oppressed Bog Orcs of Guinalea were welcome in
Amorica, where a Legion was being raised to liberate the Auld Sod from the
rapacious hands of Kyng Gorge.
So it was that in the year 98 BO
,
the green flag of rebellion was raised.
Coincidentally, the year 98 BO was
also the year that a newly minted Cornet of the 17th Heavy Dragoons,
the “Sewon and Soforths” began what would be a very active career indeed.
Unbeknownst to him at the time,
Giglamps had purchased a commission into an unhappy regimental family in the 17th.
The 17th’s Lt. Colonel, Lord Sniggerson, was far more interested in
currying favor at court than with running a combat ready command, and the
assignment of the 17th to “assist the civil authorities” in a
backwater like Guinalea, seemed to his Lordship a “right demned slap in the
face”!
While his Lordship spent all his
time pretending that he was an orc of some importance, morale and training in
the 17th reached a nadir, and poor Giglamps was to bear the brunt of
this neglect on a spring morning near the village of The Harrowed.
On that day Cornet Giglamps was
tasked with tracking down a Ferach Agent believed to be spreading dissent in
the area. In truth, poor Giggers was much too er green, as it were, for such a task, but frankly, no more senior officer
could be bothered to take the field and so, as the most junior officer, Cornet
Giglamps was given command. Mind you, Giggers himself was delighted at the
prospect of independent command!
As Giggers and his patrol approached
The Harrowed, it was clear that the village had been deserted. Taking his
coverorc, Trumpeter Thersonorc Behineyoo, and a section of six dragoons, Cornet
Giglamps turned down the lane towards the local sacred circle.
There he met Druid John Moyfee and
about 40 bog orcs of the village, seemingly gird for war. Entering into
conversation the Druid assured Giggers that the bog orcs were simply assembled
and equipped for smurf cutting
as was the custom in these parts.
A more experienced officer than young
Giggers would have realized that with the annulment of Wylde Magicke there
could be no smurfs nearby, and the gathering of bog orcs could only have
mischief at heart. As it was, Cornet Giggers accepted the Druid at his word,
and made ready to depart.
When from out of the crowd of bog orcs
a rock was thrown…
The preceding is the scenario
description for a game I’ve had in mind for some time, Giggers first fight!
In keeping with the theme of “early
days”, this game will be played using Warhammer Fantasy Battle 2nd
edition rules.
Both sides will be represented by
the standard orc templates. While it is true that in Alternative Armies world
of Valon, bog orcs are “harder” than proper orcs, the bunch gathered here
represent an ill trained rabble. Rather than improving some aspects of their profile
and then reducing others I decided to keep it simple.
There are three mobs of 12 to 16 bog
orcs each led by a unit champion.
There are three sections of 6
dragoons each led by a unit champion.
Giggers will of course be some level
of hero, no doubt a minor hero as befits his youth and inexperience. Trumpeter
Thersonorc Behineyoo will also be a hero, as suits an orc picked to be his
young officer’s minder.
Druid John Moyfee is an
elementalist. Although he is well steeped in the spells and rituals of his
religion, the annulment of Wylde Magicke will limit his options and possibly
add a random element to his casting.
In the photos you may well notice
that demnable Ferach agent Daniel D’Kless. Present mostly for colour, D’Kless
is a high elf major hero. However he should take no part in the game, being, as
usual, more concerned with saving his skin than with engaging in derring-do!
That’s it for now on this bleak
solstice morning.
Merry Christmas and thanks for
stopping by!
To read how the game played out, click
here .
